Salaamu Äleykumu Warahmatullah,
Glory be to Allah and peace and blessings be upon his prophet Muhammad,
Many of my friends are, those who asked me about my turning point. And loads are those who asked me to write about it. I must confess that I sort of neglected it. But when it comes to my dearest sister UmFahr request, I would not react thus. Actually it brings tears to my eyes each time I remember this holy engagement -I would call it- holding back myself this time, I would write it down with Allah's help.
My best friends, those who have known me for more than 5 years would call it a Metamorphose. Some of you don't know how old I am; well I am 18. Then it has been 2 years since I engaged myself into Islam Commitment. The beginning was pretty hard. But let's jet a flash back on my life how was it like before.
As any other girl, I had chums. Carefree chums as I used to be. I don't blame them for my disguidance. No, I had been just like them before I met them. Alhamdulillah, at that time I never cut off praying. But which praying? I would say working out not performing prayer. Going up, going down, kneeling, bending.. La ilaaha illa Llah! For sure that my way of praying was wrongly wrong. But the best thing -is meant to be the worst- is that I was making some slips in the easiest sûrah in Qur'aan. I would just curl up and die rather than giving more details about my old times prayers. Never done my prayers on time, never got up for Al-fajr prayer. Praying was like a burden to me.
Don't even ask! I can guess what you thinking about right now.. Oh yes I was a believer, I knew about the two shahada. I was saying I bear witness that there's no God but Allah and Muhammad is his messenger. Saying it but heedless of its deepest meaning. ~_~''
I don't blame my parents for not teaching me about my deen. Cause they have been raised in a non-religious environment as well. So they are not meant to carry the can! Islam became over the decades a tradition for their parents, their ancestors after all. Without mentioning fasting, I was just doing the ritual.
Ramadan for me and my relatives had been a month of special and delicious dishes but nothing else. I don't recall if I ever read Qur'aan in Ramadan. And if I did, that would be hardly ever. But never prayed taraweeh or salatul qiyam before, absolutely not. Was the case for the other members of my family as well.
They used to wake up before Al-fajr prayer to eat (suhur) but not to pray and some still. Yes some still wake up to eat and then go back to sleep without praying. Subhana'ALLAH. I didn't use to wake up just not to break my sleeping. ''_''
Well, going back to catch some z's then waking up late in the morning, spending the whole day in preparing those dishes, watching ridiculous soap operas and the absurd cooking tv shows. That's how I used to spend the holy month of Ramadan. Oh yeah, I forgot to talk about the eid's prayer. There was nothing called eid prayer at home. No body used to go. The eid's day was again special but with what then? Guess.. A special dish as ever. =_='
Would die of shame telling you about my ignoble deeds!
*Muy pronto que pensaba está hecha la primera parte, aúnque sea poco. Dejenme un ratito más de tiempo y vais a ver (:
